How to Give Your Students the Gift of Happiness (at Any Age)

Five simple habits of happiness + how to implement them into your classroom from PreK through High School

As educators, our students rely on us for guidance and comfort (arguably, more so than our knowledge of math, science, and language). They trust us to share what we know about life, to empathize with them, and to lead them through the maze of growing up.

The stress of school performance, the pain of bullying and ostracism, the awkwardness of adolescence, the challenges of family life. . . growing up is H-A-R-D.

Through the frustration, hardship, and adversity that our kids encounter, how can we teach them to find happiness?

The pursuit of happiness

For those of us who grew up back in ye olde 20th century, happiness was something to be pursued. Those words in the Declaration of Independence meant something big. We were going to Pursue Happiness.

. . . No one could tell us how to find it, though. 

Fortunately for the generations who came after us, the movement of human psychology was about to experience a sea change.

A turn toward the positive

In 1998, Martin Seligman was elected president of the American Psychology Association. Building on the work of several psychologists before him, Seligman brought Positive Psychology to the forefront of psychological study, using the scientific method to explore the positive aspects of humanity. Perhaps the most important of these is our ability to live happy lives.

Thanks to Seligman’s focus on positive psychology during his time with the APA, we’re now beginning to understand happiness a little better—and maybe even figuring out a bit of a roadmap as the movement gains momentum.

“Happiness can be synthesized,” psychologist Dan Gilbert tells us in his TED talk. And “synthetic happiness is every bit as real and enduring as the kind of happiness you stumble upon when you get exactly what you were aiming for.”

In other words, we make our own happiness, no matter who we are or what we do for a living. 

According to Shawn Achor, founder of GoodThink, former Harvard researcher, and happiness expert, there’s a phenomenon he calls The Happiness Advantage.

“If I know everything about your external world,” he tells us in his TED Talk, “I can only predict 10% of your long-term happiness. 90% of your long-term happiness is predicted by the way your brain processes the world.”

One way most of us have been trained to process the world is through goal-setting.

This kind of thought pattern is probably familiar to you:

• If I get the job, I’ll be happy

• If I get a raise, I’ll be happy

• If I find a partner, I’ll be happy

• If we get married, I’ll be happy

• If we have a baby, I’ll be happy

Similarly, your students might think:

• If I get on the soccer team, I’ll be happy

• If I get a Hydro Flask, I’ll be happy

• If my parents stay together, I’ll be happy

• If I can get an “A” in math this semester, I’ll be happy

• If my IG post gets 100 likes, I’ll be happy

• If I lose five pounds, I’ll be happy

• If I get my own bedroom, I’ll be happy

But that’s not how it works. Anyone who’s ever achieved a goal, only to set a new, harder one, knows that feeling. Goals are moving targets (from job to raise to promotion), so as Achor shares, “If happiness is on the other side of ‘success,’ your brain never gets there.”

This goal-oriented perspective also has another major flaw: by telling ourselves “I’ll be happy when . . ,” we’re relying on an external experience to provide our happiness for us.

Instead, happiness is something like a muscle that needs to be exercised and strengthened. Your brain can be trained to perceive happiness, and once it does, it improves all aspects of your life.

Achor describes The Happiness Advantage phenomenon like this:

“Your brain at ‘positive’ performs significantly better than it does at ‘negative,’ ‘neutral,’ or ‘stressed.’ Your intelligence rises, your creativity rises, your energy levels rise . . . Your brain at ‘positive’ is 31% more productive than your brain at ‘negative,’ ‘neutral,’ or ‘stressed.’”

Obviously, with the benefits of increased intelligence, creativity, energy, and productivity, we want to teach our students to strengthen their “happiness muscles.” 

But how do we do that?

Build-your-own happiness

According to Achor, there are five daily action steps that we can take to reframe our perspective and turn on our “positive” brain. Once engaged, our positive brain learns to habitually look for positive patterns in our lives, seek out moments of positivity, and see the world through a lens of happiness.

Jeff Olson talks about Achor’s five daily actions in his book The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness. He describes them as “simple, fairly mundane, repetitive tasks that are easy to do, and to do again, day after day.”

The hope here is to help your students develop a habit of happiness, training their brains to seek out the positive in the world around them, even when it can be hard to find.

Action Step #1: Create a gratitude journal

This can be a one-minute activity, a two-minute activity, a five-minute activity, or more, depending on the needs of your classroom. The point is to think about three things—anything—that you feel thankful for. 

Writing down daily feelings of gratitude trains your brain to be on the lookout for the positive moments and experiences in your daily life. It activates the reticular activating system. That’s the part of our brain that hears a friend mention a great new song—and then, seemingly out of nowhere, it’s constantly on the radio, the person next to you on the bus is humming it, and it’s playing through the sound system at the grocery store. The reticular activating system is our brain’s pattern generator. So when we tell that system that good things are in our lives, we notice more good things. And more, and more, and more. 

PRESCHOOL & KINDERGARTEN

During circle time, ask the students to raise their hand to share something that they feel grateful for. Provide examples to inspire them: the sunshine, their warm coat, the puddles on the playground, their breakfast, the reading corner. Get an example from 3-5 different students.

You could also rotate the assignment: maybe three students go home Monday afternoon knowing that it’s their job to think about something they’re grateful for so they can share it on Tuesday morning. Then, Tuesday afternoon, a different set of three students is given that assignment for the next day.

Try to guide the students toward different ideas each day, but there will probably be a lot of repeats, and that’s okay! At this age, it’s about: 

• recognizing that there are simple parts of our lives that make us feel good, and 

• getting in the habit of acknowledging them each day

Use an oversized notebook as the classroom gratitude journal. For each student’s idea, draw an image that might represent it: a book for “the reading corner,” a cloud and raindrops for “puddles.” Write the word and the student’s name on the page, too, so you can all be reminded of the good things each student thought about throughout the week, the month, and the school year. Revisit the ideas now and then to remind each other of all of the good that they find!

FIRST THROUGH THIRD GRADE

In early elementary school, a gratitude journal can transition into an individual activity, with each student keeping track of their own personal notebook. Each morning, give the students time to write one word or draw a simple picture to represent one thing they’re grateful for.

Sometimes, at this age, students might struggle because it’s simply a hard day to think of nice things. We’ve all had those days. Unfortunately, for some students, more days might be like that than not. These exercises are especially significant for students whose lives outside of the classroom might be darker than most.

When a student is having a rough time, remind them that sometimes thinking about positive things can help us feel better. Remind them that you’re there for them. Let them know you see their struggle and that you care. Maybe knowing you and other students are there for them is something they can write or draw about in their gratitude journal.

Encourage students to think of a different idea each day—but if they get stuck, it’s better to be grateful for Cheetos five days in a row than for nothing at all!

FOURTH & FIFTH GRADE

In late elementary school, advance from one idea to three. Ask students to write a sentence about each one of their three gratitudes. For instance, “I’m grateful for Sonya because she sat with me on the bus this morning” or “I’m grateful for Tuesdays because it’s taco day at lunch and I love tacos.”

SIXTH GRADE & UP

Tweens and teens can continue writing sentences about each of their gratitudes. At this age, really encourage them to think of three new ideas each day—no repeats for the whole semester (or year, if you have them in class that long)!

Action Step #2: Recall, in detail, something positive that happened in the last 24 hours

This activity helps kids recognize little moments that can have a big impact. Journaling about a positive experience each day trains our brain to relive positive moments, leave the others in the past, and expect good things in the future. It helps us move forward rather than dwelling on negativity.

PRESCHOOL & KINDERGARTEN

This can be another sharing activity during circle time. This time, no need for you to write anything down. Ask for a student to share something that made them happy yesterday. Set a timer; give the student 60 or 90 seconds to tell their story.

Keep in mind that “yesterday” was a long time ago for young kids! If they need help, remind them of something you did in class together. Maybe they want to talk about that!

When it’s their turn, some students may barely have a sentence to share. That’s okay! Right now, it’s just about looking for the positive and revisiting the memory that gives them good feelings.

Tailor the activity to your class’s needs. You could have one student share each day, or have 2-3 students if there’s time.

Follow up with questions for the class: “How many of you have ever gotten to pet a dog like Sofia did? Raise your hand if you have a dog at home or know someone who has a dog you can pet.”

FIRST THROUGH THIRD GRADE

Ask the students to think about something that made them happy yesterday. Then, ask them to make a list of ten words that remind them of that happy memory. For example, if a student’s happy memory was eating tacos for Taco Tuesday in the cafeteria, they might write “taco, shell, lettuce, plate, cheese, beans, yum, good, lunch, cookie.” If they have time before the exercise is over, they can draw a picture to go with their list!

FOURTH & FIFTH GRADE

In late elementary school, students can write their story in narrative form, with a beginning, middle, and end. Encourage them to think about the five senses and about emotions.

What did they see? Smell? Hear? Touch? Taste?

How did they feel? Encourage them to identify three emotions that they experienced during their story.

SIXTH GRADE & UP

Encourage students to be as specific as they can. Challenge them to dig deep into their memory as they write their story: recall the details of the environment, the expressions and dialogue of the other “characters,” and pay attention to the arc of the story. Did it end as a reader might expect it to? Or was there a twist?

Action Step #3: Get moving

For all age groups, make space for the students to be physically active throughout the day with regular “brain break” activities. 

It’s harder to fit a full recess in as kids get older and curriculums get tighter, but if your school can offer recess for the big kids, that’s a big win for health and happiness.

Try to get at least 15 minutes of physical activity during each school day. For many middle schools and high schools, that’s one two-minute brain break for every class period.

Action Step #4: Take two minutes to focus on breathing

Paying attention to our breathing forces us to slow our brains and our bodies down. In just two minutes of focused breathing, Achor says, happiness increases and stress decreases. And what’s even more remarkable is that in that same time, "the stress of the people around [the test subjects] dropped as well. It starts to cause this chain reaction."

As a bonus for the classroom, a two-minute breathing exercise also increases our ability to focus. In that respect, taking a two-minute break to simply practice awareness of our breath can increase classroom productivity in a big way.

PRESCHOOL & KINDERGARTEN

Even our youngest students can benefit from mindfulness exercises like focused breathing. A simple “quiet time,” with 2-3 minutes of calm music and reminders to breathe in and out can refresh young kids’ bodies and brains and help them focus on what comes next.

FIRST THROUGH THIRD GRADE

Students can lay their heads down on their desks or sit crosslegged if there is room on the classroom floor. With the lights off, guide students to slow their breath by breathing in through their nose for four seconds, holding their breath for four seconds, and then breathing out through their mouths for four seconds. Repeat for 2-3 minutes, and then let the children quietly return to their seated positions before turning the lights back on.

FOURTH & FIFTH GRADE

At this age, it’ll be important to share why mindfulness exercises are important for the classroom. Let them know it might feel silly or awkward, and that it’s okay to feel that way. Remind them of the “why”s. Use an app like Calm to guide students, which allows you as the teacher to be fully present to observe any discomfort in your students and help them through it. Some of the exercises on Calm are available for free to K-12 teachers.

SIXTH GRADE & UP

In middle and high school, you can ask your students if they prefer you to guide them, to use a recording, or if they’d rather simply have a couple of quiet minutes to close their eyes. You know your students best! If your whole school community has adopted these practices, by now your students might be best served by a self-guided activity.

Action Step #5: Commit conscious acts of kindness

It’s probably not a surprise to you that being nice to someone makes you feel good. And your one act of kindness might create a ripple effect that not only increases the recipient’s happiness and your own, but infinite others.

PRESCHOOL & KINDERGARTEN

Pick a target at your school each week. Maybe it’s someone in the office, like an administrative assistant or the principal. Maybe it’s the librarian or the PE teacher, or even a student or a parent who stood out for one reason or another. Tell the students that you’re going to do something nice for them, like:

• Write a thank-you note

• Give them a compliment written in a card

• Do a favor, like pushing in all of the chairs at the library tables

Make the task a physical one (all of the students sign the thank-you note or the card, for instance, and are present when it is delivered), so that the students can fully experience the act of kindness.

Afterward, talk about the experience. How did the person seem to feel? How did the students feel while they were doing a nice thing? How do they feel now? Sometimes the person on the receiving end might have an unexpected reaction, or might not be aware that an action took place (like pushing in chairs). How do the students feel when that happens? Does someone not noticing mean that we shouldn’t do nice things for people?

Toward the end of the school year, ask the students to take the activity home: who is someone at home, in their apartment building, or their neighborhood who they could do something nice for? Ask for parent participation for safety, and have the students report back, answering the same kind of questions you would ask in the classroom.

Students could share their stories in class, or if your parents are used to digital activities, parents could record their child talking about the experience. If you choose to have parents record, give the parents specific questions to guide their children.

With older students, the focus can shift away from physically performing an action to a simple thank-you text or email, but young students will benefit from a “bigger” action that they can see, feel, and hear.

FIRST THROUGH THIRD GRADE

For early elementary schoolers, a weekly activity is enough, and can be pretty similar to the PreK activities listed above. For early elementary students, though, ask them for suggestions. Who might they do something nice for at the school next week? What sort of gesture might make that person feel good about themselves?

FOURTH & FIFTH GRADE

This is a good time to transition from more physical acts to a simple note of praise or thanks, which will be more sustainable once they switch to making this a daily activity! 

For now, though, ask your students to write a thank-you note or a note of praise to one person each week. Ask students to keep a record of their daily act of kindness in their gratitude journal, and let a couple of students share theirs once a week, if there are students who would like to share out loud.

SIXTH GRADE & UP

Encourage students to write send a thank-you or a bit of praise by email, text, or a written note to a different person every day. This task can take two minutes or less! As with upper elementary students, middle and high school students can keep a record of their daily act of kindness in their gratitude journal. This will help them keep track of who they wrote to each day and what they thanked them or praised them for. That way, they can review those positive moments (and practically, their journal entries will keep them from losing track and sending the same note twice).

Sustaining happiness

These five little habits add up when they’re practiced every day, according to Achor. “It’s not the macro things that matter,” he reminds us, “but it’s the micro choices for happiness that actually sustain happiness the best.”

Two minutes to jot down gratitudes. Two minutes to describe a positive moment from the last 24 hours. Fifteen minutes of physical activity. Two minutes to breathe. And two minutes to send a note of praise. 

For teens and adults, that’s less than 30 minutes a day. It seems like a small price to pay for happiness.

If we start now, teaching these small habits to our kids early on, students are far more likely to continue practicing them through adolescence and adulthood.

Our students rely on us.

Don’t we owe them these small steps to happiness?